.

It's always fun when you get a new apprentice at work. Especially the fresh out of school, grew up on a farm, freaks out in traffic type kid. I got one like that last year.

Now he's really a good kid, about 19 or so, but really naive and easily impressed. I know that because he thinks I'm God. While this is obviously not the case, it's quite a flattering thought, so I haven't quite set him straight yet.

So last week, at about 4pm last Wednesday (my birthday), a call came in. DifficultCustomer wanted someone on site, ASAP. You know, the kind of person who always wants things done yesterday. This wouldn't ordinarily be a problem, but he was 300km away and nobody else could go. NewGuy could not handle DifficultCustomer alone.

So I made a few phone calls and postponed my plans to the weekend, then NewGuy and I hit the road. An uneventful road trip (well, we almost died, but that's not unusual on our roads) and a half an hour later we were done. DifficultCustomer was smiling again, I had a nice cheque in my hands, and NewGuy's respect for my all round eliteness had grown once more. Life was good.

But we were still in a town neither of us knew very well, and my birthday needed celebrating. So we cruised around for a while looking for a suitable watering hole. You can always tell the quality of such establishments by the cars parked outside. Large spoilers, flashing lights and racing stripes are generally not good signs. We drove around for a while.

Eventually we saw a sign that showed promise. "Showgirls", it said. I could tell by the look on NewGuy's face that we had reached our destination. Since I'm not at all adverse to the female anatomy, or rewarding particularly fine specimens thereof for a closer look, we pulled into the parking lot.

Now although I'm by no means a regular of such places, I've had quite a few bachelor parties over the last year. I'd definitely never visited this particular one before though, so I was sure nothing embarrassing would crop up. NewGuy was pretty eager and headed in to pay the entrance while I locked up.

As I walked through the door one of the girls looked familiar. She caught my eye, shouted, "Peter!" and came rushing towards me...

"Look girls, it's Peter!"

I was a bit puzzled.

Four girls descended on me in a frenzy of hugs and kisses. It dawned on me that these were the ones we had 'imported' for my last friend's bachelors, and suddenly realised where all my money had gone that night.

After enough pleasantries were exchanged, I made my way to the table where NewGuy was sitting, staring at me with astonished amazement.

"Listen, I swear I've never been here before," was all I could think of to say.

He just smiled and shook his head. "Drinks are on me, man. Drinks are on me."

26 tomorrow... :(

Officially closer to thirty than twenty.

Shouldn't I be married, with kids already? Another one of my friends is getting married next month, and I'm the 'best man', again. That leaves two of us bachelors. The others have 1.5, 1, and 0.1 kids, respectively. I don't even have a pet.

I should buy a house... paying rent for the rest of my life wouldn't be very smart. Twenty years of debt doesn't sound like fun either. I've paid off my car, and hated the feeling of being trapped for five years. Somehow the knowledge that you can't just tell your boss to shove his job up his ass is slightly disconcerting. Three years since I last did that.

Does anyone ever feel old/grown-up? I remember my grandfather flirting with the nurses on his death-bed; he probably still thought he was eighteen. I know I do.

I thought birthdays were supposed to be fun...

Yeah, I had one too many...

*NUKED*