Joe Pisscopo's "I got your impersonations right here!" Aristocrats Joke
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Dad says, "We are master impersonators!"
The agent says, "Impersonations are yesterday's news. I can't even book 'em in Branson!"
Dad just says "And now, my son will impersonate a famous rapper!"
Junior, about 16, rips off his 13-year-old sister's jeans and panties, and starts licking her pussy and fucking her. She comes screaming and her brother blows his load inside her.
"R. Kelly!" says Dad. "Next, my wife will impersonate Courtney Love!" Mom shucks off her skirt, takes out a bottle of vodka which she chugs. Then she pisses on the agent's desk and says "Do I get a gig now?"
Not to be outdone, daughter jumps up. "My rendition of rock and roll great, Janis Joplin!" She takes out a syringe and shoots up a shitload of heroin, then falls down and shits on the floor.
Mom lies down on the couch, shits, pisses, and grunts like a pig. "Teri Schiavo!" she says.
"And now," says Dad, "I will impersonate former INXS singer Michael Hutchence!" He strips naked, hangs himself from the light fixture and starts beating off. Mom, Sis and Bro all dance around him singing "My neck is so raw...you've got to cut me down!" He shoots his come onto the agent's desk.
Wife and daughter, naked now, get down on all fours. Dad and Bro stand in front of them. Dad says "My wife and daughter will now impersonate Monica Lewinsky and First Lady Laura Bush!" Sis starts blowing her brother while Mom tries to get Dad's limp dick into her ass. Bro comes in Sis's mouth and Sis gives a big loud swallow. Mom says "God damn it, George, you can't get it up again?" Here, Miss Beasley!" Dad starts cornholing the dog, then pulls out and spews come and dog shit on his wife.
"And now for our grand finale," says Dad, "My son and I will impersonate Kobe Bryant and Bill O'Reilly!" Dad pops a Viagra, grabs Sis, shoves her legs apart and crams his boner in her. He fucks her to orgasm while bouncing a basketball against the dog's bloody ass. Bro gets out his cellphone, calls Mom on hers and starts beating off while saying "I want to rub your dirty pussy with a loofah, bitch! I want to fuck you for Christ!" Mom gets out a vibrator and buzzes her clit until she comes. Bro walks over and shoots his load onto Mom's face. The agent's office is completely covered in shit, piss, come and vaginal juices.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
Told my Eric Cartman;
http://media.putfile.com/The_Aristocrats :O
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