Europe and the United States, united in gaming. Where are the middle-eastern nations? Jordan has two nice queens. I've liked Queen Noor since I saw her on CNN. She gave two interviews in two nights. At the end of the second, she started spinning around in her chair like a child. I've liked her ever since. Queen Rania does all sorts of great things for women. But here in gaming, there is no Jordan. Why isn't the rest of Earth gaming-involved?

Australia: A nation of criminals. They probably couldn't figure out how to steal computers or the internet, so their pirated video games are useless.

I still can't figure out why Australians like Abba so much.

Brazil: Too much soccer? Too many nice women? S's instead of Z'z?

Colombia: This is an easy one.

Galapagos: Obviously, there is a benevolent conspiracy involving iguanas, turtles and hammerhead sharks. They are fully determined to prevent any online gaming, as alien visitors would then misunderstand evolution.

Antarctica: I'm guessing the internet doesn't work well in Antarctica. Living close to a state capital, I can only manage 1200ms. Penguins are a successful hockey team, why can't they succeed in video games? Must be the ping.

N. Korea: No clue.

Iraq: It must be a lack of resolve. If Iraqi's really wanted to, they could compete online. Instead, they choose to sit around snoozing in their twitchy-britches.

England: Ever since the Revolutionary War, England gave up fighting. It is perfectly understandable, and we should not expect any decent force from England for at least exactly 8,362.827432 years.

If these few places are indicative of the other 500 nations, it may be difficult ascertaining a true cause. I'm sure though, there is only one cause. Gaming rhymes with both gay and straight. Bet you didn't know that.