San Francisco, the city of a million gays. My brother lives in San Francisco. I go down there to visit him sometimes. This time, he had made a gay friend. I was with this gay friend, I think we were walking through Chinatown at like 3 in the morning (I was pretty drunk), when a car drove by. Someone in the car yelled 'faggots'. I immediately remarked on the irony (since I personally am not gay).

The first time I visited my brother, we didn't go many places. This time, he drove me around more of the city. We went to the Academy of Sciences or whatever the place is with the albino alligator. The snappers there reminded me of New Orleans. I liked the academy. When he was driving me around, showing me other parts of the city, I found it was only specific areas I truly liked. We did pass by a Popeye's, and sure enough, a black man stood outside (what is the antonym of irony?). My brother also drove past Japantown. It was small compared to Chinatown, like actual Japan compared to actual China. I started imagining a scenario where Japantown attempted to invade Chinatown, resulting in Chinatown building a wall to be known as the not-so-great wall of Chinatown.

On the last day I was there, we went to an Italian restaurant. The waiters had thick Italian accents. I asked my brother if they were fake. He told me no, all the waiters are 'straight off the boat'. Outside, while we were waiting to be seated, there was a legal placard. It read, "It shall be unlawful to litter, something or other else, with a fine of $1500 or something.". I questioned why it said 'shall be' instead of 'is'. Also, I don't know why the United States government continues using static numbers. With inflation and deflation, shouldn't a relative percentage be used? Like in the Bill of Rights, where it says anything above $20. In the late 1700's, $20 was uh.. different.

The next day, it was time to leave. To reach the airport, I used BART, it's like a subway system. When I boarded, there were four strippers (in full stripper attire). At the first stop, several homosexuals boarded, one carrying a sign reading, "I support the freedom to marry." (I approved of the wording). The stop after, an obvious pimp and ho sat no more than several seats in front of me. The pimp was wearing a pink shirt, unbuttoned all the way down, with a 'fat stack' of not gold-chains, but mardi gras beads. He also wore a black hat, in typical pimp fashion. The ho was dressed in traditional ho clothing. A couple stops later, three asians boarded, two sitting in front of me, one next to me. I thought there was one male and two females. After sitting with them for 10 minutes or so, they started talking. I was looking the other way, and I thought the girls were talking. When I re-centered my view, it turned out the person I thought was a male might have actually been female. Maybe it was a transsexual? All of this was happening at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Eventually, I reached the airport. A security guard patted me down, probably because of my middle-eastern features and possible demeanor. The search was stupid. The only people who can't beat airport security are dumber than the idiotic government workers themselves. After security, I ate at a Japanese restaurant. The server had trouble speaking English, but it all worked out. Afterwards, I got on the plane and went back to Washington, where I am now.

The United States can be a funny place. It helps to be inconspicuous. Many people live in a narrow corridor. It can be fun inside the corridor, but it is a weak place. A small amount of poison gas can kill many. There is no wind, no atmosphere, no three-dimensions, no space. The Chinese school-girls are nice though. When you are mean to other school-girls, they cry. When you are mean to Chinese school-girls, they flip you off. I'll have to go back to San Francisco, just for the Chinese school-girls. My brother lives literally two blocks from a school of only Chinese and Mexican. I look out the window and Chinese school-girls are everywhere.

That's the United States for you. Some places, mostly Texas, are not so diverse. All you have to do with Texans though is punch them in their throats until they die. After that, they're more receptive to differences.