ESR - HAHAHAHA!

ESReality - Where Gaming Meets Reality

About | Contact | Guide | Filters
Users | Preferences | Search | FAQ

News | Forums | Columns
Journals | Articles | Polls | Wiki

Files | Galleries | Demos
Events | Coverage | Movies

ESR Shop | Betting Fixtures

Not Logged In | Login | Register

10:51 CST - 1489 users online

ESR Discord Channel

no live streams found

Scheduled Listings

When were you introduced to quake? (213)

1997-1999

DreamHack Winter 2013 Winner (74)

rapha

What mouse do you use? (174)

Microsoft IntelliMouse Optical 1.1

What Quake Live Account do you have? (138)

Pro

Would you pay a subscription for QL? (241)

Yes

GameGune Q3 Allstars Poll (122)

Toxic

Best Cooller Quote (159)

your lg is nothink on the lan

Will the UT2K4 Demo Be out in 2 Weeks? (38)

a bit more than that

Mouse Sensitivity (162)

10 cm and less
11-20 cm
21-30 cm
31-40 cm
41 cm and more
high accel
medium accel
low accel

Latest Threads

Latest Comments

News Learn to play quake live with FraZe (90)
News HoQ TDM 4v4 Winter Season 2025 (2)
News Cooler Interview 9.8.24 (1)
News World's Greatest Gamer Event - QC - Punk vs Leffen (1)
News 250 FPS QL League (6)

Latest Forum Threads

OT Donald "Trump" Trump wins Elections 2016 (582)
QC =]<o~~~ Possible Scenarios for Quake 5! =]<o~~~ (23)
Q4 all pk4 files collected so far (2)
GG Need maps for q4 (0)
Q3 Why cant id learn from Valve's CS2 and give us an updated Q3 (55)

Latest Journals

2z faye (22) by stpbozin
Why this game sucks to hard? (28) by The_Sh33p
Mars died as his temple burned. No new gods of war exist. (57) by ShadyVoltaire
TEnEP ETO PYCCKu CAuT (2) by stpbozin
How to sporadically play multiplayer games? (7) by cx

Hot Topics

News HoQ TDM 4v4 Winter Season 2025 (2)

ESR Virtual Betting

Lamur
E$ 238,131

E$ 176,304 omek
E$ 129,238 fazz
E$ 61,723 lithz
E$ 58,635 nsx0r
E$ 57,658 nk121

List · Edit · iMsg

astz!

astz!
Posts: 775
Popularity: Nobody (0%)

Level: Regular

Registered: 19 Jan 2003

Email: Undisclosed

Full Name: Paul McGarrity

Age: 38

Location: Edinburgh

iM Replies: Y

Timezone: Europe/London

Country: Scotland

Avatar: Default

Homepage: www•team-dignitas•net

Config: None uploaded

Drafts: 0

Judgements: 1073 made, 584 received

Bets Placed: 84 (Rank: 266)

E$ Money: 500 (500 available)

E$ Savings: 35922

Buddied by: 79 users

Last Login: 14 Mar 2020

Theme: Custom theme

Journal

HAHAHAHA! (70 comments)

( Major Journal: OT)

Posted by astz! @ 20:02 CST, 23 January 2007 - iMsg

There's two cows in a field. First cow says to the second cow, "So you heard about this mad cow disease that's going round?". The Second cow replies "Doesn't affect me mate!". The first cow looks surprised, shakes his head and asks "How do you figure that exactly?" The second cow then looks at the first cow again and says ".......I'm a Helicopter!".

Yep. AWESOME!

27725 Hits

11%

<< Comment #1 @ 20:12 CST, 23 January 2007 >>

By

Khorney

That was a little strange :)

<< Comment #6 @ 00:12 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Anonymous (68-114-161-175.dhcp.kgpt.tn.charter.com)

there ARE two cows in a field, and how do you know which cow is the 'first' and which the 'second?'

finally, you seem to have an odd fascination with overpunctuating your sentences. I'm not sure I understand the motivation.

<< Comment #12 @ 05:07 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

haazz - Reply to #6

its a joke you dumb yank

why would you be complaining about a first and a second cow
where i come from IRL they dont speak.

AHEHAHE

<< Comment #50 @ 17:32 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Anonymous (68-114-161-175.dhcp.kgpt.tn.charter.com) - Reply to #12

uh, the closest thing to a joke in this thread is probably you. actually, you are a joke.

<< Comment #55 @ 19:07 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

haazz - Reply to #50

i am very funny i agree

<< Comment #40 @ 13:05 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

jaffeh - Reply to #6

one is wearing a hat, with the number one on it

the other is wearing a t shirt with number two written on it

sorry he neglected to include this information kdawwwwwG!

<< Comment #47 @ 14:41 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

frAts - Reply to #40

He should have added that. But thanks, now it makes sense <3

<< Comment #51 @ 18:20 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Anonymous (68-114-161-175.dhcp.kgpt.tn.charter.com) - Reply to #40

why are you so fascinated with me?

<< Comment #52 @ 18:21 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

jaffeh - Reply to #51

u is cute, caring, and youve got a GSOH

<< Comment #2 @ 21:28 CST, 23 January 2007 >>

By

YaoiSama

two mooses were out flying when all of a sudden one of the mooses falls down, his friend lands next to him and says "what happened?" to which he replied "I got a bun in the eye"

<< Comment #3 @ 22:08 CST, 23 January 2007 >>

By

LoCK

Heh... hehe.. HEHE... AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAH... OOOOOOOOOOOOOBWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I GET IT.. SECOND COW HAHA ROFLCOPTER!!!!!!!!!!

<< Comment #4 @ 22:56 CST, 23 January 2007 >>

By

primax - Reply to #3

what's wrong with you?

<< Comment #5 @ 00:09 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

sparkie - Reply to #4

The mad cow disease I think =D

<< Comment #7 @ 02:56 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

CLains

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"

<< Comment #54 @ 18:48 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

dreg - Reply to #7

i dont know y but that made me lol :)

<< Comment #61 @ 05:38 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

CLains - Reply to #54

cuz it's awes0me ofc :) <3

<< Comment #62 @ 05:39 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

CLains - Reply to #61

think it's something to do with the phonetics in the last line, just perfect for the purpose ;D

<< Comment #8 @ 03:02 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

[mash]

Two skyscrapers sitting in a basement, ironing marmelade ...

u know where this is heading.

<< Comment #9 @ 04:07 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

i thought he was a pirate?

<< Comment #10 @ 04:35 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Nukm

Edited by Sujoy at 06:28 CST, 24 January 2007

<< Comment #14 @ 05:43 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

[mash] - Reply to #10

i can't see it ?!
finally ... lol

Edited by [mash] at 06:43 CST, 24 January 2007

<< Comment #18 @ 06:35 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

mindz - Reply to #10

omg this is good.

<< Comment #23 @ 07:05 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

koyaan - Reply to #10

AWEESOME �_� LOOOL

<< Comment #45 @ 14:07 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

MarzenGold - Reply to #10

idd hit it

<< Comment #56 @ 20:47 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

gk_nz - Reply to #10

HAHAHAH *cant breathe*

<< Comment #63 @ 05:40 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

CLains - Reply to #10

rofl ;D

<< Comment #11 @ 04:39 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

therogue

lol

<< Comment #13 @ 05:42 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

koekie

Haha, I actually laughed :(

<< Comment #15 @ 05:53 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

What is black and swim in the sea?
A fridge with a wetsuit.

<< Comment #16 @ 05:54 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

MarzenGold - Reply to #15

What is yellow and sits on your doorstep?
Cheddar the watch cheese.

<< Comment #41 @ 13:06 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

jaffeh - Reply to #16

i dont think these "jokes" translate too well from whatever language you speak

<< Comment #44 @ 14:05 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

MarzenGold - Reply to #41

ye they dont :(

<< Comment #17 @ 05:56 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

[mash]

what's small, black and knocks on a window ?

half-cooked baby

<< Comment #19 @ 06:36 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

mindz

whats cool, very handsome and best of all?

mindz

<< Comment #20 @ 06:36 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

mindz

what rocks, is the shit, and the best quaker alive?

mindz

<< Comment #21 @ 06:37 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

mindz

im the best joke thinker

<< Comment #22 @ 06:58 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

koekie - Reply to #21

Thought mindz was :(

<< Comment #24 @ 07:40 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

tbone

Why did the little girl drop the balloon?

<< Comment #34 @ 11:19 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

rehepapp - Reply to #24

to get back to the ground.

<< Comment #36 @ 11:36 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

tbone - Reply to #34

No, because she was being raped in the face.

<< Comment #38 @ 12:42 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

rehepapp - Reply to #36

anyone here for a pedo-bear?

<< Comment #49 @ 15:45 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

tbone - Reply to #38

My friend sent that to me at 3am in the morning in a text message, I was scarred for life.

It's rather funny however how he can tell it with a straight face to people, the reaction from them is far more funny than the joke.

<< Comment #64 @ 05:42 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

CLains - Reply to #36

hahaha

<< Comment #25 @ 07:44 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

doYdY

astz!

<< Comment #26 @ 07:51 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

tourist

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.

<< Comment #27 @ 08:36 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

luKrek - Reply to #26

only decent one yet :O

<< Comment #29 @ 09:07 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Six16 - Reply to #26

whats funnier than a dead baby in a bucket?

a dead baby in 10 buckets!

<< Comment #31 @ 10:19 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

tourist - Reply to #29

Q: What present do you get for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy.

<< Comment #37 @ 11:47 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

deotrip - Reply to #26

dead baby jokes... zzzZZZzzz

<< Comment #39 @ 12:49 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

tourist - Reply to #37

Daddy daddy, how did I come to this world?
Well Johnny, a stork brought you.
Oh dad, you'd really fuck anything...

<< Comment #42 @ 13:08 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Six16 - Reply to #37

dead baby jokes > *

<< Comment #46 @ 14:13 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

deotrip - Reply to #42

heard them too many times

<< Comment #28 @ 08:51 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

koyaan

"Everybody can dress up as an old lady and fall down stairs to make people laugh, but to make comedians laugh it has to be a real old lady"

<< Comment #65 @ 05:43 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

CLains - Reply to #28

rofl

<< Comment #30 @ 09:09 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

supersexyleetmegaruler

go away you.. *i choose to censor this*

<< Comment #32 @ 10:21 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

brescia

dont get it ;)

<< Comment #33 @ 10:38 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

whats black, yellow and mows my lawn?

my slave and i can paint him any colour i want.

one for jamerio.

<< Comment #35 @ 11:22 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

rehepapp - Reply to #33

omfgracistfuxxOLOLLSLALALA BANBANBAN PROBATION!!"!!! banban kickvban ollalala racist!!1

ps!
one for jamerio

what are white?
my socks!

<< Comment #43 @ 13:17 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Backstab

Why did the boy fall of his bike?

Because i threw a fridge at him

<< Comment #48 @ 14:53 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

d1cKz

COW AND SHEEP IN A FIELD, THE COW SAYS MOOOOOOOOVE OVER AND THE SHEEPS SAYS BAAAAAAAAAALOX

Edited by d1cKz at 14:55 CST, 24 January 2007

<< Comment #70 @ 20:43 CDT, 29 May 2009 >>

By

[mash] - Reply to #48

this is good!

<< Comment #53 @ 18:25 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

JOhnjo

Whats blue and fucks grannys?

Hyperthermia

<< Comment #59 @ 22:34 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

Aaron - Reply to #53

ha, I liked

<< Comment #57 @ 20:50 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

astz!

P.S. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

www.myspace.com/imahelicopter

<< Comment #66 @ 08:24 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

koyaan - Reply to #57

Sind wir nicht alle Piraten?

JA WIR SIND ES SCHON ^_^

<< Comment #58 @ 22:16 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

linoleuM

There's two guys on a bridge, one has long hair and the other one doesn't give a shit.

<< Comment #60 @ 22:35 CST, 24 January 2007 >>

By

linoleuM

Two kids are counting their presents on christmas eve. The first one says to his brother: "Hah hah! I've got 2 more gifts than you!", his brother replies: "I don't care, at least I don't have your leukemia."

<< Comment #67 @ 15:12 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

astz!

best journal ever btw

<< Comment #69 @ 20:27 CDT, 29 May 2009 >>

By

MarzenGold - Reply to #67

oh close

<< Comment #68 @ 18:49 CST, 25 January 2007 >>

By

sudstah

your fucked up!

Reply to:
[Reset]

Formatting:

Content:

Enter Text:

Or if you already have an account:

Username:

Password:

Read the Posting Guidelines

Non-HTML tags: [b]bold[/b], [i]italics[/i], [u]underlined[/u]
[small]small[/small], [q]quoted[/q], [s]~~strikethrough~~[/s]
[url=www.url.com]link[/url] or type www.url.com
[flag=country] (list), [avatar=name] (list)
[map=mapname gamename] (list)

Conceived and created by Sujoy Roy (Legal Notices)
RSS Feed Information, Link Buttons and Banners