Who loves ions?

There are many different ways of thinking. Some people think in terms of positive and negative. I call them dickheads, and they say, "Dude man, you're so negative.". Other times I call them gems of Atlantis, to which they reply, "Dude man, I feel the positive vibe.". Personally, I think these simple ways of thinking are only fit for the ass of a baboon.

When I was playing WoW earlier, a friend of mine remarked on how old we're getting. I could have told him to think positively, but instead, I said, "Well 27 ain't shit compared to 20 trillion.". Even though the language is crass, it is adequately balanced by higher thinking known as relativity. I say higher because you can learn relativity in low-level classes such as philosophy 101.

Now, how many other ways could you reply to his remark?

If I was a moralist, I might say, "It is wrong to think of such things."
If I was an absolutist, maybe I would say, "Age is irrelevant. Eternity is infinite."
If I was a pluralist, I could say, "Some people do get older."
If I was an empiricist, "We have more experience now."
A materialist, "And think of how many possessions we have today."
Cynic, "Trying to sell me a youth formula?"
Skeptic, "Maybe we're not really so old?"
Joker, "Older than your mom!"
A pluralistic relativist, "Older than some, not as old as others."
An absolutist relativist, "We're younger than everyone older."
Generic scientist, "Fairly young really, in human terms."

I'm sure you can extrapolate the rest from there. I'm not a mathematician, but i'm guessing it would take forever to go over every combination.

The point is, there are many different ways of being. Negative and positive are only fit for dumb beasts driven by mere instinct. Next time you are afraid of 'bringing me down', you should instead consider something more advanced. Positive and negative, emotional stimulation, manipulation of instinct; they might do more harm than good, in more intellectual stages of existence (certainly, we find evidence of this claim when religions and politicians 'shepherd' the non-sheep).

Higher thinking of the non-beast human. Some pathetic individuals spend their entire adult lives driven by sexuality. Reproduction and breathing are equally important. We need both to survive. But this is different from the ignorants who are deluded into thinking the losing of one's virginity or high frequency of sexual intercourse is somehow important in and of itself. Only reproduction is important. With modern science, you can reproduce without having sex. If you have children, you should do it with someone virginal - someone not overcome by their mechanical instincts and the pressure of ignorant society. When you have children with animals, you move backwards on the evolutionary chain (your descendants suffer for your lack of self-control).

There is no conclusion here. Instead, there is an assignment (for everyone who wants a higher education). The assignment is to tell me what kind of thinking is displayed in the previous paragraph.