My mother just returned from France. She spent three weeks there. For some reason, whenever she goes to Europe, she wants to bring me back weapons and torture equipment. When she goes to South America, she brings me shirts bearing the brands of local beers. This time, she came back with chocolates and a dagger. The blade is 8 inches long; the hilt is 5. It's a fine weapon. One I could easily kill many people with.

Some people think I shouldn't collect weapons and torture equipment. Tell it to the Chinese schoolgirls. Seriously though, it runs in my family. There's nothing wrong with killing everyone.