Before Pinocchio was tellin' lies and swattin' flies, he was a drug-dealing pimp from New Orleans. Back in those days, when a ho' didn't pay up, she learned the meaning of the word 'back', as in, she got the mo'fuckin' back-hand, bitch. When the cock-sucking cops shook ole' Pinocchio down, he nosed his way straight outta the bayou, down to the Mississippi river delta, where all the best crawfish sing like rabbits on a cold July afternoon.

Would it be ridiculous making a prequel of Quake? Like Quake -1? I have always agreed with John Carmack, in the sense video games are like porn - no one cares about the story. But what if it was so sick and twisted, a Quake -1 could be better than a pimped out Pinocchio? Like instead of a rocket launcher, there was a rock launcher, which was basically exactly the same as a rocket launcher? There are lots of spoof movies, but how many spoof video games?

Could a humorous video game succeed as an esport? You don't find much humor in sports. Traditionally, sports are about one brute smashing in the head of another. They're about animals performing at the height of their animal abilities. In other words, traditional sports are idiotic, severe, and not really fun unless you are an egomaniac.

Video games, or esports, offer an entirely new range of possibilities. With esports, we are mostly limited by our ourselves. Whether our instruments are keyboards and mice, or legs and arms, we can run, jump, catch, throw, and murder. Who we murder, aliens or ant-colonies, is entirely up to us, the video game makers, players, and viewers.