some nice quotes found here, there, everywhere:

"Your lg is nothink on the lan"
- Anton "Cooller" Singov (10.000 BC -10.000 AC)

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"Assassins!"
- Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra

"I'll moider da bum."
- Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying

"I want to my mommy"
-becks when he discovered he's not alone

"You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it."
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

"Me serves you well. Me wannabe"
-tourist (2,119,965 -2,119,955 BC) to becks

"Why don't you write books people can read?"
- Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941)

"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."
- Vince Lombardi
(no ragequit I guess)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
- Sharon Stone

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."
- unknown

"We have art to save ourselves from the truth."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back."
- Paul Erdos (1913-1996)

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."
- Edsgar Dijkstra (1930-2002)

"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

"Sex and religion are closer to each other than either might prefer."
- Saint Thomas Moore (1478-1535)

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

"Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working."
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor)

"I want to my daddy"
-Scarlet Johanson (1984-2984)

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."
- Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger" by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

"A clever man commits no minor blunders."
- Goethe (1749-1832)

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."
- Henry Kissinger (1923-)

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."
- Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.)

"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means."
- Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925

"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head."
- Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks

"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."
- Guy Davenport

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
(hi Jonesy!)

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)
(like this)

"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin."
- John von Neumann (1903-1957)

"Grove giveth and Gates taketh away."
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"What do you take me for, an idiot?"
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy

"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"No one can earn a million dollars honestly."
- William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."
- Lucille S. Harper

"In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945)

"I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking."
- Katherine Cebrian
(same here)

"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."
- Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

"No Sane man will dance."
- Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

esr is kinda old after all:
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"Plato was a bore."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."
- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk."
- Harold Robbins
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"Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things."
- Epictetus (55-135 A.D.)

"What about things like bullets?"
- Herb Kimmel, Behavioralist, Professor of Psychology, upon hearing the above quote (1981)

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."
- Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."
- Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

"Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
- H. M. Warner (1881-1958), founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole."
- Bill Wulf

"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

"Write drunk; edit sober."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"I criticize by creation - not by finding fault."
- Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Love is friendship set on fire."
- Jeremy Taylor

"My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate."
- Unibomber Theodore Kaczynski, when asked in court what his current profession was

"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
- General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)
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