I'm here to officially reveal the new line of Dodge trucks. It's called, the 'Ass'. It's modeled after the Ram, but more honest... because really, trucks aren't designed to ram into things, they're designed to haul shit around. The only reason the ram is called the ram, is because truck drivers are a bunch of dumb idiots who don't want to think of themselves as a bunch of dumb asses. Would you rather think of yourself as a cool, tough ram, or a lowly donkey? We realize though, the subterfuge cannot be maintained forever, and truckers will someday come to terms with what they really are.

Personally, I take great comfort in knowing, both Christianity and country music will one day be retired to the anals of history. And no, that isn't a misprint.