Alright, peeps, i'm going to teach you how to party at Mardi Gras. What you have to understand, is that Mardi Gras lasts about 3 weeks. You don't want to start partying too hard, too soon. In preparation, make sure you save enough money and you have the right connections. What you want to do is, get some meth (don't need too much, just enough to keep you awake), and get a bunch of coke (gonna need enough to keep you good and high during the meth-trip), and then you'll want to get some weed and alcohol (make sure you get hard-alcohol, and something to mix it with... don't want to get dehydrated or anything). When you've got all the ingredients, you just have to wait for the right time. You want to start somewhere early in the night, when there's a good parade. Take a couple bumps of meth (this will keep you up for two days or so), and then snort coke, smoke weed, and drink alcohol at your pleasure. Over the course of two days, there should be many more parties and parades for you to frequent. When the meth finally wears off, make sure you have some kind of sleeping-aid, and you can get as much quality out of your sleep as possible. There are multiple reasons for this, including the fact that you will be doing the whole thing over again, as soon as you awake. This process is meant to be continued throughout the entirety of Mardi Gras, and you should make sure, that for the last two days of Mardi Gras, you are awake and fucked up the whole time.

Now, at times throughout, you may opt to switch out coke/meth/weed/alcohol for ecstacy and coke or something of that kind. That works too, but ecstacy leaves you a little bit hungover for about two weeks, so you might want to save that one for Mardi Gras day itself.

And that's it. You're good to go. Saving a bit of extra money for hookers is also a good idea, whether or not you actually want them. Who knows.

I don't do drugs myself (as you know, drugs are illegal). But, because freedom of speech gives me the right to teach and encourage others to do drugs, I can't help myself to a little exercise.

Just to keep you safe, make sure you don't do too much meth... it's not like coke, you really only need a couple bumps every few days or something of that kind. Coke, alcohol and weed, on the other hand, go fucking nuts. When Mardi Gras ends though, on Ash Wednesday, that's when you quit the shit and get back to work. It takes several months to recover from a coke-meth-weed-alcohol-ecstacy-Mardi-Gras binge, and that's the period we call 'lent'.