"Please note that the Issue Restoration Massage Mode is only intended for use on the hands. Exposing the Razer Talon to other bodily areas, while tempting, may result in excessive strain of and potential loss of said area."
The best part is the "Razer Snake Oil Hyperesponse Lubricant".
And under the warning label:
"If Razer Talon begins to behave erratically, move on its own, or become self-aware, unplug unit and barricade yourself/loved ones within a safe location and contact Razer Support. An armed team of product specialists will be dispatched to your location to dispose of and RMA your affected unit."
They really put in a lot of work into this April fool.