Some of you may be familiar with the American Republican party. They are the right-wing party of the United States. Their core message (aside from what they call 'conservatism'), is self-reliance. Another term for self-reliance is masturbation. That's why they got so pissed at Bill Clinton. He could have had some ribs removed and given himself blowjobs, but no, he relied on someone else.

Yes, the Republican party should change their name to the Masturbation party. It would be less confusing that way for stupid people.