play more pickups, those are quite competitive, or present enough excitement for me .>

I got a problem doing things half assed, I'm either all-in or all-out :) but thanks.

that's the problem i guess, with doing more and different stuff you like at a certain level you'll keep a balance. feeding your ego at maximum and being wealthy all the time is quite hard.

I know the exact feeling, I get extremely obsessive over things, the only way I got over that was to just fill my life with too many things that I am interested in. I would love to play quake all the time like I used to, but there is just no way I can do that when trying to fit in all the other things I am into. I still get obsessive over things, but they are generally over short periods, like I will spend 2 weeks messing about with hardware and operating systems, or 3 weeks just reading books, or trying to learn a new language. Quake now takes away from my other gaming time, but I don't feel like it becomes too much, and I enjoy it most of the time.

You will also have to accept that you will become worse at the game though...

I don't know if it's just me but duel usually provides significantly more excitement and feels far more competitive to me than team games. For a real competitive feeling to come up in team games you need to practise a lot with your team and play in competitive tournaments. Else you will always just blame your teammates or a lack of communication and generally not give much of a fuck (pickups). While playing 1v1 you have no excuses and as a result it's far more intense, even if it is just a completely random game on a public server (especially now with elo). At the same time it is very flexable as in you can pretty much play someone your skill at virtually any time. Perhaps you should give it a try.

I'm not the excuse kind of guy, I put blame and credit where it's due, but duel might be more of my thing right in this matter. Even though i do prefer team games as I'm a social person, I guess dueling would make more sense considering my competitive part.

Thanks, I'll actually try to duel for a while.

*captain obvious post*

Ya man, try playing duel, especially when you already have the skill to compete with the better/best ones. Duel provides (for me) the most excitement, fun and at the same frustration and anger as well. If you don't have much problem with losing, if your ego is somehow objective ("I played shit" "He's just better" "He's better on that map" etc.) then Duel is really what you should look for. You'll rage eventually anyway, everyone does it from time to time, but after few mins. the feeling goes away and the fun starts again.

In duel you have to focus extra hard (when playing same skill/better), I'd say twice as much as in other modes (blasphemy!) since one stupid move can/will cost you the whole game very often. While TDM is super fun too, I never get really frustrated, even if I/team play really bad and thus I think duel is the most competitive mode out there, of course skill-wise it's on the same level as CTF and TDM.

Plus taking wins from really good, top-notch duelers gives you the most fun you'll ever get in this game and boost your in-game ego as well as confidence and experience.

you already said it. No one truly quits videogames completely once they start playing them competitively to any extent. It just doesn't happen.

Thing is though quake started to get rather dull as I'm now more inclined towards racing sims, but I'm decent enough at fps games only because I've been playing them for years so I decided to start playing duel.
It was never appealing to me but it feels fresh and competitive at all times, It requires more concentration therefore I'm making better use of my free time, which matters a lot once you get older, and I got a free premium account here and that's the best way to use it.

You'll start in an advantageous position though. You are experienced enough to enjoy playing 1v1 games rather than taking them personally, or as something very competitive and that would mean a real life ego boost (because in reality it's just a major waste of time), so frustration is out of the question in 1 out of 10 games.
Also you are good enough to beat half duel players just relying on general fps gaming "skills" and by learning spawn points, since this is not chess or go really, and in the end it makes you better at other modes.

I chose not to be truly competitive at videogames but you can do it if you want to. There's a lot more information about duel than tdm or ctf for example, and in duel you learn something every single match.
In the end it's a pretty fun way to stay playing fps games.

DO IT! : )

While playing 1v1 you have no excuses

Imo that's the reason why 1v1 whether it be sc2 or ql is not as popular as teamgames. Some people are just afraid to play 1v1 :|

and thus your current poker problems find its cause :D

I found the same but other things can fill the void of Quake like competitive sports.

I kinda understand what you are going through, if there is nothing REALLY important from stopping you from competing, go for it man. nothing wrong with that.

didnt even notice you were gone? :D 10 days away from quake and you're already crawling back!

Sell your pc and live without it for awhile. Go travelling, start a new hobby (something competitive like martial arts or something), when you get back you will be more balanced.

I make a living out of poker. Online poker. Selling my pc would be selling my source of income. :)

I don't think that is a job that would enrich your life.

(I used to work for a poker website, you can earn okish money, but you will begin to hate it, and it won't make you rich, it's just another job)

There aren't many jobs out there that will make you rich right now.

Yes, but I think that poker is one of the worst ones you can do, as it ads no value to your life. I.e. no enrichment.

I don't know if this is working for others, but I fight these feelings by raping my ego to connect the certain addictive thought with a new activity.
I was smoking almost 2 boxes per day for a decade, and quit from it in a heartbeat (patches were not availbale that time:/).
Every time I had an urge to smoke I just told myself that it will be over in 5 minutes and "I must read something" (usually I red scientific articles) until it will goes away, "because learning something is good for me".

After a decade, I still have feelings sometimes that it would be great to smoke, perhaps it will be like this for the rest of my life, so it's kinda like Quake.

ps.: And now I also have to quit reading scientific research reports:D (but that's not that lethal at least)

he came to esr for advice, and it was "have some self control", that was fast and easy:)

And to be fair I got better advice than i hoped for, I'ma off tostart dueling right now.

u only nerd ztn

play more promode

He clearly stated "competitive" and "social" in his post.

Jag vill känna dig från insidan

NOOOOOOOOO

You sound like me but you've been around gaming in general much longer. It doesn't matter what the game is, though, I just have to be doing something competitive or I get massively depressed. Gaming is the easiest outlet for it because regardless of weather conditions or time of day, there's always some form of a match going on.

lol emo

[+] for dibbe part

play brood war with me ;)

Play some different games and try to get good at it. Gaming is not only playing Quake! And i think the getting-good-at-something part is the most fun and you dont need organized playing with a team.
For example, I needed 20 to 30 hours in Red Orchestra 2 to get to the middle of the scoreboards. Now after 75 hours I get to the top quite often. Having great fun with it. And of course you can always come back to Quake :)

play sonic and mario brothers

who would have thought at dawn of civilization that grown men will earn their living via playing online poker.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sport

I was a very successful kid athlete until I hurt my back for life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Productivity

We're all different. :)

Take some vacation in France : )

worst advice ever.

Provonce is fucking awesome. Went there with my fam several times as kid. Miss the food, air, sun and even the people :x

How can I server you the snails today monsieur!???

8DD

medium rare

I prefer lamb, fresh baguette, merguez, croissant, eclair etc. over snails :P

Bonjour! Trois baguette s'il vous plaît. Au revoir!

All y need in france :D

bleh sunlight....

If that is truly how you feel (due to hating the pressure of having to play when i MUST; not when i want to.) your future is looking very grim indeed.

Online poker is a dying thing and has been for a while now, Combine that with the previously mentioned mindset '(i'll do what i need to do when it want to not when i have to) + the obvious resume gap poker generates and things are looking very bad.

online poker is a dying thing?

yes, compared to what it was say 4-5 years ago.

few weeks ago when I played it there was about a quadrillion tables full of people, but Im sure you counted them and compared.

Its dying in terms of profitability especially middle stakes and upwards, the reason for that is the tremendous improvement in average quality of play + sites didnt lowered the amount they take out from the money pool. Once the game will be declared as "unbeatable" or nearing to that there will be a huge drop in traffic, as poker will not be any different from casino games where noone wins in the long run. Although this is the reality for most players, casino games mathematically dont allow the chance for someone to win money long-term, which online poker currently does, this is the main appeal of the game.
Also 5 years ago one could easily become a winning player at low stakes, combining that with the perspective online poker offered it was a good opportunity, nowadays only to become winning at low stakes takes a ridicolous amount of work and the effort may not match the reward...

And we have a winner. And as a bonus we can watch Tourist failing miserably in the process of trying his usual 'i know more about everything than you " routine.

A g9x is what you need.
A g9x is what you need.
A g9x... is what you need.

dont worry you can always be a gigelo!

You need to be hot for that

there is a market for all levels of hotness

play more poormode

OR you could become swede #2 who hangs himself due to poger. choices..

Who did that?

I think it happened in 2006. Found a 2007 article:
------------------
Christian Sellergren, a professional gamer who led Team Eyeballers to the 2004 CPL Counter-Strike championship, apparently took his own life last November over massive debts accrued from online gambling. The news trickled down to us through a rough translation of a recent story about the death in Swedish paper Aftonbladet.

According to the report, the 21-year-old Sellergren, who went by "divino" online, turned his competitive instincts to online gambling after retiring from the eSports scene. Sellergren lost his job and accrued over $13,000 in debt to fuel his addiction, which he kept from parents and friends.

just quake when you want and ignore/apologize/explain requests that force you to play

you got to be fucking kidding me funnyb, I never thought i'd see the day you'd stoop this low to have a "gaming journal" - you sound like six16 hah

I thought that too.

As I said bruv, I just needed to vent. I could've written this in notepad but might aswell do it here. It's a journal after all.

And fuck off with the Six16 comment. :D fucking #2

think i've done it a few times but felt stupid about it - i should stop checking this site

worried you'll look bad, eh

you are all just random people... why would anyone honestly care about shit in my life :D btw my wifes pregnant!

if someone can relate to it, they might care/empathize and try to help

oh did u quit?
didnt notice..

im 12 and what is this

well, u can play tribes, its awesome, i even got quatra kill today - hope i wont get banned

Quit your whining and get a job you slacker :D

I manage my addiction by having all gaming stuff at my parents home :P
- mouse
- mousepad
- crt
- low ping
which i visit only for the weekends.

At my home i have shit wireless mouse, shit lcd, high ping :P

you quit organized gaming? I didn't even know you joined organized gaming, or that it existed within the realms of quake.

play DotA!! great team game

A birdie told me doctors were making a comeback!

A birdie told me you were talking bullshit.

doesn't know how to play poker, blames quakelive..