did you enjoy it alone, late at night, when everybody else was asleep? did you pick little pieces off until all that was left was a stale porous skeleton of crystalized cake and flaking icing? did you press your fingertips down onto the platter, desperately hoping for the remaining moist crumbs to stick? did you finally, in a fit of uncontrollable hunger for cake, microwave the remaining concreted mass alongside a moistened paper towel in a final effort to salvage what was left of the sweet delicacy?