Hello. Apart from being an exquisite "Artiste" here on esreality I also dabble in such arts as pottery and poetry, as you returning and longer members here at our beautiful experiment know. I will not bore you with any more useless information about my following column but I will say this -: "Godspeed".

It was another sunday morning, not much unlike any other morning or even any other day for that matter but something did feel rather odd. I woke with that slow tingling feeling in the "rear" a normal feeling after such "avenues" of "pleasure" have been explored all night long. I rose to the sounds of a lone wolf crying for his supper outside. That damn Jose always plays his ridiculous sound effects records after a night such as the last. I went to the toilet. I looked in the mirror. "My god." I said to myself. "What a beautiful man you are!" I proceeded to cleanse myself of the usual "substances" "left" upon my "body" when I realised there was somehting different about the usual smell i would find in the bathroom. I then walked forward into the boiler room which had been declared the "secret room" by bill the hoarder the former tennant here in my apartment and lone behold I found the culprit! Sitting in front of me in all its glory was a fuly grown male wildebeast![Img1] Gnashing his teeth violently in my direction! Well needless to say this discovery came as quite a shock to me, especially in my bewildered morning status! I tried to run away but the wildebeast grappled me to the floor and began to speak as if in some sort of alienated trance "Leave and die, Leave and cry, I am the wildebeast i eat pie! I had heard this somewhere before, but there was no time to investigate! I quickly shimmied up and out of the widlebeast's grasp and ran out of the secret door, down the stair and into the kitchen where the remnants of last nights blazing orgy lay scattered about the table and floor. Liquid evidence falling from the roof. "Blooming jiminies!! Ye wouldnae believe wit I sae up them stairrs like!" i said to jose, and quickly explained how I resort back to my native glaswegian tongue when in a state of shock. A minor point but one worth mentioning all the same. Jose accompanied me upstairs to the bathroom, but only after I took a few swigs out of a brand new can of
milk or whatever. So Me myself and Jose arrived on the scene! What followed was shocking and disturbing, read at your own peril!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jose bent over and I was immediately aroused. he produced some evidence or something in a desperate attempt to halt the proceedings towards the secret door to see the wildebeast. As we approached the door we heard a cat whimper and jose swung the door open only to reveal a mere fish sitting in the cavity that formerly contained the Wildebeast! So Jose thought I was insane and had me locked up I will sek my revenge but as of now I am held in a cage fit for the Wildebeast!

The Wildebeast! is copyright ArK productions and Media.