Sometimes it really suck.
Just played two matches, played fairly good, starts to lag--> i get pissed-->i play worse-->i loose .. Second match, easier opponent, i go in with bad spirit thinking i will win.. Does not lag this time (i made sure).. My brother comes into my room, starts walking around, i tell him to leave (might have been a bit rude, but its my room), we start to fight, i say some evil shit, and so does he, he walks away.. I cant focus on my game, to many feelings, i lose again. .. Grrr
Now. I dont really care if i lose or not as long as i play my best, but when stuff like this happens i get so mad. I got school early tomorrow, cant sleep... I wonder, what would help to remove these feelings? I just ignore my feelings now.. I feel i can do fine without them (the bad ones), but they seem to pop up.. I feel like im bound to go crazy someday.. Its just in the lines of how i think, i might think to much, about everything.. Maybe i am crazy compared to others already, or maybe im just the only one admiting it. Think i need to read some science shit to calm down, look at the big picture.
Il just keep on living my life as best as i can. Acctually im not even gonna bother doing that. Il just keep on thinking about everything.. But my head hurts :(
You know the feeling where you just sit there, listen to whatever music you like, and you just realise for a split second that nothing has any meaning at all, that everything and nothing does not really mean anything? You just sit there thinking, wtf.
Just played two matches, played fairly good, starts to lag--> i get pissed-->i play worse-->i loose .. Second match, easier opponent, i go in with bad spirit thinking i will win.. Does not lag this time (i made sure).. My brother comes into my room, starts walking around, i tell him to leave (might have been a bit rude, but its my room), we start to fight, i say some evil shit, and so does he, he walks away.. I cant focus on my game, to many feelings, i lose again. .. Grrr
Now. I dont really care if i lose or not as long as i play my best, but when stuff like this happens i get so mad. I got school early tomorrow, cant sleep... I wonder, what would help to remove these feelings? I just ignore my feelings now.. I feel i can do fine without them (the bad ones), but they seem to pop up.. I feel like im bound to go crazy someday.. Its just in the lines of how i think, i might think to much, about everything.. Maybe i am crazy compared to others already, or maybe im just the only one admiting it. Think i need to read some science shit to calm down, look at the big picture.
Il just keep on living my life as best as i can. Acctually im not even gonna bother doing that. Il just keep on thinking about everything.. But my head hurts :(
You know the feeling where you just sit there, listen to whatever music you like, and you just realise for a split second that nothing has any meaning at all, that everything and nothing does not really mean anything? You just sit there thinking, wtf.
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