I'm daydreamer. and I've been gaming since I was 9 with the original UT. At the time I had a pretty terrible PC, p3 466, 4mb onboard video, 56k. I wasn't very good at all and I don't think I knew how to perform a shock combo. Fast forward 6 years.. I'm 15 years old and I am practicing 6-10 hours a day on a 3700+, x800, on a cable connection.

I started my gaming really at 14. with UT2k3/2k4. I was first introduced to the pro gaming scene once I started becoming good. I always had a natural talent in UT, and I realized it on public servers. I would always easily dominate the other players in a heavy DM game. At the time, I was terrible compared to what I aspired to be.. I was a typical noob who thought he was good. Mousewheel switching, terrible movement, no timing or grasp of control, I had alot of work to do.

Using IRC for the first time, I idled in the major #s in ETG. This is how I got passwords to "pro" servers such as wm/kaizen/etc. I was horrible and knew that I would improve by spectating the games played and warming up with some of the good players. Seeing some of the truly skilled players motivated me to become better and to one day compete at big LANs.

This continued through most of 2k3, and once 2k4 came out, I had a clean shot to become good. I started improving drastically, my aim got insane, I had good map control, movement, and timing. Unfortunately I was extremely immature. I would get mad and start cursing when I started losing, and basically lost my cool when things didn't go my way. I was having trouble playing well at all times, some days I would just plain suck. I got arrogant and cocky many times and was disappointed when I lost. I had alot of "dreams" to become great at UT2K4 and to make a long story short, it never happened. I was known as the little annoying foul-mouthed kid hanging around IRC pretending to be pro and making random excuses for losing nearly every match.

Now that I'm more mature, and clear minded, I plan to become great in Q4. I want to be the best. I don't want fame, I don't want publicity like Fatal1ty, I just want to be known to be the best, and I want the personal satisfaction of knowing that I am a truly great player. I want people to know my name, and to respect me. I want alot of things, and I know I have to work for it, or these things that I want will not happen.

I've been practicing tons every day, and I know that my skill is improving drastically. At first, I hated Q4. It was such a difficult change from UT2k4 that I wanted to quit. Little by little I started learning. And now, I think I'm pretty good.

I think my biggest inspiration would have to be either Thresh, or Fatal1ty (I think too many of us at esreality mock him). Fatal1ty is successful. He's determined and has nerves of steel, and is a very smart player.

My play style is changing as well. I am starting to play smart, and now thinking alot more. I'm becoming more of a mental player than anything. My movement and speed is also improving. I have trouble with timing. I also have trouble with consistency. Some days I do horrible and some days I do great.

I know that I have the dedication and natural skill to make it happen, but I'm still young. Will the pro gaming community accept me? Will I get nervous at LANs and lose it all?

Is Quake 4 worth putting all my time and effort into? Is it worth playing a game this much when it will possibly die very soon? It seems rather empty honestly. I'm not sure if it will survive as long as the original UT or q3. I hope that it won't die in a year like PK.

I guess for now I should remain determined, and take Fatal1ty's word, "Practice practice practice".