This post is in response to many of the questions I have been getting since deciding to step away from the North American Duel Cup. If you have no clue what I'm talking about you can catch up on the latest DraNA (lol thanks twitch chat) here and here
I am not abandoning everything, but I have a bunch of bitter sweet emotions and feelings towards the organization and events currently. Combine the previously mentioned feeling about Quake with high stress life situations and you've got a wonderful recipe for disaster. I have no desire or intention to share the details of these "life situations" but I will say that I don't want to ruin the joy that quake brings me by self destructing and taking the NA Duel Cup down with me. So let's skip to the the more important (quake related) details. This community of ours is a bunch of noobs, drama queens, dreamers, hipsters, snobs, friends, try-hards, etc. etc. etc. This is the current state of the Quake community and this community still exists because of how passionate the members of this community are about their Quake.
"So Quake players are passionate. What the **** is your point failr?"
This passion is why I am also having a difficult time letting go. Part of me wants to say "screw it" and stream this upcoming Sunday like normal. Fortunately there is a far louder and more rational voice in my head telling me to "back off" and chill out. I think a good stream is about providing good entertainment. For me it doesn't matter if that entertainment comes from eye opening expert casting or if that entertainment comes from dank memes and fresh satire. The level of entertainment that I have been providing is not up to my personal standards, however I'm not concerned about damaging my ego in this situation. I have a terrible feeling that if I continue trying to force myself to manage all of this alone that I'll end up destroying myself mentally and taking the North American Duel Cup with me. The longer I try to accomplish my goals alone the heavier the bar gets and the farther away I fall from it. This was definitely a cry for help that was unfortunately delivered poorly and in combination with some serious life stress. Hopefully this helps those who are confused at this sudden announcement to understand why I have decided to do this. I actually think that this will help to strengthen and grow the NADC as a static organization within this bitter sweet community of ours.
I have no exact date or time frames, but I do hope to come back again someday soon
Thank You For Quakeing
I am not abandoning everything, but I have a bunch of bitter sweet emotions and feelings towards the organization and events currently. Combine the previously mentioned feeling about Quake with high stress life situations and you've got a wonderful recipe for disaster. I have no desire or intention to share the details of these "life situations" but I will say that I don't want to ruin the joy that quake brings me by self destructing and taking the NA Duel Cup down with me. So let's skip to the the more important (quake related) details. This community of ours is a bunch of noobs, drama queens, dreamers, hipsters, snobs, friends, try-hards, etc. etc. etc. This is the current state of the Quake community and this community still exists because of how passionate the members of this community are about their Quake.
"So Quake players are passionate. What the **** is your point failr?"
This passion is why I am also having a difficult time letting go. Part of me wants to say "screw it" and stream this upcoming Sunday like normal. Fortunately there is a far louder and more rational voice in my head telling me to "back off" and chill out. I think a good stream is about providing good entertainment. For me it doesn't matter if that entertainment comes from eye opening expert casting or if that entertainment comes from dank memes and fresh satire. The level of entertainment that I have been providing is not up to my personal standards, however I'm not concerned about damaging my ego in this situation. I have a terrible feeling that if I continue trying to force myself to manage all of this alone that I'll end up destroying myself mentally and taking the North American Duel Cup with me. The longer I try to accomplish my goals alone the heavier the bar gets and the farther away I fall from it. This was definitely a cry for help that was unfortunately delivered poorly and in combination with some serious life stress. Hopefully this helps those who are confused at this sudden announcement to understand why I have decided to do this. I actually think that this will help to strengthen and grow the NADC as a static organization within this bitter sweet community of ours.
I have no exact date or time frames, but I do hope to come back again someday soon
Thank You For Quakeing
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Edited by flair at 08:34 CDT, 16 April 2016 - 26474 Hits