can't wait to find out who the real father is.


not.

Uncare.

Mephesto: All right. From everyone's accounts, I've narrowed down Eric's possible father… to the people in this room:
Officer Barbrady, Chef [blinks up],
Jimbo [a bit shocked],
Mr. Garrison [eyebrows up],
Ned,
Chief Running Water,
Gerald Broflovski [surprised],
myself,
my friend Kevin [looks up at him],
or, the 1989 Denver Broncos.

Stan: Wow. I always knew Cartman's mom was a slut, but Goddamn!

Mephesto: The test results are in this envelope. [Cartman is hopeful] Shall I… open it?

Mr. Garrison: [impatiently] Yes! For God's sake, get on with it!

Mephesto: Erhum ehrum uh [gasps] The father of Eric Cartman is indeed, someone in this room. The father is-

Announcer: [an organ plays] Who is Eric Cartman's father?
Is it - Chief Running Water? [looks askance]
Or is it - Chef?
Is it Mephesto? [looks around]
Or that little monkey guy that follows him around?
Or is it Mr. Garrison?

Alfie insisted: “I am the only boyfriend Chantelle’s had and we’ve been together two years. I must be the dad. When she found out she was having a baby, I asked her, ‘Am I the dad?’ and she went, ‘Yeah’, so I believe her.”

Well, then I guess the DNA test is wrong.

pfff dna... like anyone's gonna believe something that's only about 99.9999% probable.

99.99% is no match to a 15 year old girl's "Yeah".

House would've SO disagreed with it.

ain't no more reliable source in the world

Doesn't work, did they retract the 'article'? (note: I'm using that word ironically)

looks like, was there in the morning, not working now.

Did they even have sex? xD

"The schoolboy alleged to have become a dad aged 12 is not the baby’s father, the Mirror can reveal.

Alfie Patten, now 13, had a £300 DNA test after half a dozen boys claimed to have slept with schoolgirl pal Chantelle Stedman, 15.

It proved the 4ft-tall pupil was not the father of her seven-week-old girl Maisie Roxanne."


uuuh public bicycle?