You should give Militia a try.

.

Well I guess that just secured my place in hell

Holy shit

i stopped reading after approx. 5 words
then i scrolled down and didnt laugh :/

lol

I read it all, then this comment. OMG LOL. :D

Start doing some sports pal, running would be a good start! Get yourself into a routine!

.

can't drown while running

And swimming is not boring ?
At least with running you see more than the bottom of a swimming pool ...

but yes running is boring too ;)

.

excercise is a start just to get you out the house n shit

what nvc said, get yourself into some routine f.e doing sports, or some other hobbies that you haven't discovered yet.

Kind of been through the same thing myself. Routine is the key. Pick yourself back up, focus on yourself and everything else falls into place. INB4 TROLOLOLOL

as previously said, organizing your life is a good start. try to fill your day with stuff to do.

why would you ruin rivet city :( i love having my safe havens, tennpenny tower, rivet city, underground $ hiding places!

Pshh... default areas were lame! Best hideout was this.

that looks pimp, shame i just completed the game again. sitting tight until new vegas \o///

Consider the mod "Fallout 3 Wanderers Edition" - lots of realism additions, and makes the game much more difficult. Added at least 2 more playthroughs for me.

http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=2761

wow that looks really cool, i'll definately have to try that out

still haven't completed it being a good guy, maybe i'll have to give that a try

Get this as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0N3_WxaE2w

aww, at first i thought they'd enabled flying those planes :(

There is a mod to fly those planes (and even use them as a house), but it's still semi-functional.

See a shrink
Volunteer help for terminal kids
Install militia
Play hard
Go pro

.

maybe join a running club and meet some people

meat people*

I agree with other guys, sports clubs can be great for social life. I recently started playing cricket just for fun. Never played before so I'm crap, but they don't care, most people are just there for the social side. I go to badminton sometimes too (weekly mixed session thing). Don't be worried about feeling alone because most people go to these things by themselves and you quickly get to know people. There's plenty of things to choose from depending of how physical you want to be, e.g. table-tennis to kick boxing.

I think everyone gets depressed when they have no structure to their life or nothing to do. I'm sure your situation is more extreme, but it's pretty likely what works for others will help you too.

.

Military what?! I meant volunteer for a charity or something. I mean I know people in the same situation where they think things can't get worse, but if they look at other people's problems then they realize they're not the only people having trouble and helping others can help yourself.

It's a kookie way of looking at it, but worth a try. It gets you out and as the saying goes, the less you do, the more tired you are. The more you do, the more motivated you are. Afterall, when you've had a lie-in in bed, are you less tired or more tired?

http://www.starpulse.com/Movies/Full_Metal_Ja...TJACKPS03/

suicide makes no sense.
esr is probably not the place to find help.
and if you have the nuts to ask here, you should also be able to ask for professional help.

considering there were not too many trolls above and actually good advices (sport, routine, etc) this appears like a good place to at least try looking for help.

Why not? Not everyone is a troll, especially when there's a serious message.

Pfff suicide makes no sense. Oh realllllly!?

If someone is suicidal it's not because they like it... jesus.

You do know that depression is a mental disorder, right? As in, you know, a chemical imbalance where your rationale slowly dissipates and progresses towards delirium. Maybe that's why suicide victims end up doing things that make no sense like sticking guns in their mouths, throwing themselves off cliffs, and hanging themselves, hmm?

Seriously, if suicide makes no sense, then read up on it, moron. Don't just talk out of your fucking ass.

I'd find an activity where you can immerse yourself but in a healthy way. The others mentioned sports, that's a good start.
I'd also look into going to community college and seeing if anything interests you. They usually offer a ton of classes in a bunch of different areas. Take whatever sounds interesting and pursue it to the end. That should give you some focus and direction. As a bonus you might find a faculty member you can look up to, who could become your mentor.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, man.

yea this.

psychologists are full of shit, do not take them seriously. they make shit up and then make money diagnosing and treating it. hey, you dont get along with people, why should you when most of them are cunts anyways.

including you ;)

that's ironic

From your post I can tell you want to fuck your mother weirdo

You're right, the real remedy is removing all those pesky thetans clinging to your body

By eating all the feel good medicine?

psychiatrists != psychologists

kill yourself.

Scientology

there has to be changes

Consequences will never be the same.

new maps

hiya

Learn to respect your own health: develop a long term plan how
to reduce the medication and become sound.

Read about your drugs, their ingredients, how they work and about
the interaction with other drugs.
Being "in pretty good shape" is often not enough in case of people taking medication this much. In the long run it can wear down your inner organs besides the possibility of addiction.

Eat and drink healthy: inform yourself on good natural food and
mostly drink enough clean water. Less fastfood less softdrinks.
Reduce the use of stimulant like smoking, alcohol, coffee and
don`t take it at the same time your medicine is still working.

Investigate on different sports and choose something which
supports your way of doing things and strengthen the parts of
your body which need the support first.
As an Estimation. Your brain, your lever, kidneys foremost and for
"really kills my drive to do anything" do some endurance sport and
build up muscles.

About the job: first get the health needed to do minimum work at least. A robust worker is better for yourself and your supervisor.
Build on it slowly but steady.
You can start developing skills for jobs with reading books, going
through online tutorials or work your way up to selfemployment.
Look through available school and job education.
Try things out and compare them, change things in your pace and don`t rush it more than you can compensate.
No need thinking about yourself as a social outcast.
Do it your way without harming your surroundings, take help when you need it. Society is build upon the rule that the healthy support the less healthy so that nobody gets behind(which would harm all possibly more). When you are in good shape you will most likely support others with your tax, work or personal help anyway. Nothing uncommon.
Don`t be discouraged by failures. One step at a time glhf

Everything anon said is great advice, but I'd like to add a few more things.

You need to learn how to relax your mind. Try to focus on being calm and collected even if you can only obtain that level for a brief moment. Like quake, if you keep practicing, the act will seem like second nature eventually.

You also really need to socialize yourself with the outside world. Quake/online anything will not help. Wake up early, find something to do that involves other people, then go to bed early so you're not staying up all night being antisocial and brooding over your problems.

Talk to your shrink about weening yourself off the medication. I'm sure it helps is some regards, but I don't see how being cloudy off a cocktail of drugs can help a person overcome their problems.

get a gun.

Sacrifice your flesh in the name of Satan. \m/

And on a more serious note, what you need to do is stop feeling so god-damn sorry for yourself. Whining about how fucked up things are will never help anything. Been there, done that, regret a few years wasted on nothing. Pull your shit together, focus on improving your situation, stop drinking, stop playing games.

I know how you feel. You feel that you're useless and nothing makes sense and you don't see the point to put out the effort. Bull SHIT. Strain yourself. DO the effort. Things pick up eventually. I know how corny that sounds, but really you just need to start believing in yourself and just DO something. If you're staying idle and don't do anything, you're feeding the beast that whispers in your ear to end it all right now.

get into programming!

It is fun, you create things, which will make you feel nice and motivate you to do something constructive other than games. Later on, you will probably be able to make a leaving out of it, since you seem clever, at least to me. Get into sports too like everyone else said.

or just kill yourself now

Suicide is overrated anyway, is nothing special.

Your post is random btw or you don't like programming?

For me the key thing is to make yourself feel productive. Find something that you're interested in, something that allows you to set a goal. "In 6 months I'm gonna be able to do X". Working towards a goal keeps your mind occupied and can be incredibly rewarding and fun. Something you're interested in, or something you think you might be interested in, maybe something sports related, or instrumental, perhaps something academic, a seminar. Crave a new skill and work on it. Change your daily routine completely. Find a reason to be excited to get up in the morning. And don't stay up all night, get proper sleep.

Sign yourself up to something that gets you surrounded by people. There's plenty of activities out there if you just look. Since you're maybe feeling particularly bad at the moment find a CTF team to go with to QuakeCon. Leaving yourself at home at all times with your thoughts, with no goal in life is boring and boredom leads to further depression. If you're not doing anything with your life you're not gonna feel good about yourself. You need to learn how to love yourself, everyone deserves that and that's the main thing.

Exercising and eating healthy is proven to help with depression. Drink less and if you're smoking weed try dropping it alltogether. Nothing pushes pre-existing mental disorders and depression like weed. Go to meetings, AA, or NA, you'll meet and socialize with people in similar situations in a non-judgemental forum.

If your shrink isn't helping you drop him and find a new one through recommendation.

Like some others above said, do some excercises, or just go out for a walk once a while, read a book, listen to music, attend to musical or LAN events, or well whatever you like, eat - dont have to be a vegetarian, but include veggies. Also as mentioned above stop feeling sorry for yourself, but straighten the belt and say "I AM A MAN".. well think like that.

Start breaking the routine by attending to events and going out, not every day but least few times a week, also make sure you sleep well, depression can come from that too, try visiting a job counsellor, and get some sort of job, even half-time is nice.

Just dont stay home all day doing nothing.

also

Oh and don't stay in your head too long either. You might do it more than you think you do. Talk to someone, about anything, but just talk.

I think you'll fit in at an art school.

Visit a library and have a good browse, you'll find something interesting.
Try voluntary work.
Limit or even stop gaming altogether. You're stuck in a shitty cycle doing the same shit everyday with no visible reward. Gaming is fun but it's easily accessible and people get stuck in a trap.
Try something completely different. Cooking, gardening, visit comedy clubs.

.

WHAT EVER you do, do not follow dird's advice.

seconded

thirded...

except if you like to turn into a girl

dirded

2nd best thing about na quake scene

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

I like that. :)

not bad

Send this to 6 of your friends or your heart will fall out of your dick.

That's so 90s

ye that was a funny song :)

I used to date someone who had some mental disorders. The best thing I can suggest would be to find a good support group. Asking for help on ESR won't really get you anywhere, but finding a group of people with similar issues would be very beneficial to you. The next thing I was going to suggest was physical activity and exercising, but if you're running 2 miles a day, then I think you've at least got your cardio covered. Perhaps joining a local organization where they have regular sports activities?

At this point in time it sounds like what you need more than anything is someone physically there for you that you can properly interact with. I know easier said than done, but just get out there anyway you can and make some friends.

lucid dreams - give it a try

first thing: stop drinking while you're on some medication, that does not work together..

Any drug in general, not just while on medication. A couple joints here and there, granted. For everything else, he seems too sensitive.
I, for one, couldn't handle anything harder than weed.

Cannabis can trigger psychotic episodes in some predisposed individuals. Persons with a history of psychological disorders are most affected.

'this isnt a troll post.' ..... 'i need some kind of advice'

heh

your QL youtube videos are the best QL videos

of all time.

"i never had a mom as a kid as she was a drug addict whena list of felonies and eventually served 10 years while my dad moved cross country and never had anything to do with ne. i have had no proper raising and i really have trouble integrating into society properly and im pretty much a social outcast concerning alot of things."

Here is your starting point. You obviously hang on to this baggage and it clearly is something which dictates your life. In other words it labels you: "Hi I'm Walter and this is me ^^^."

It really isn't you, and if you can ever accept that, then you can move forward with your life and discover for yourself who you really are.

So how do you do that? Well, you are probably angry or bitter about it and feel like life dealt you shitty cards. Reality is that life is just life, whether you perceive it to be good or bad is irrelevant. You can't change the past but you can control how you choose to respond to it.

Now is it going to control and define you? Or are you going to be able to get over it and let it go?

A story comes to mind about a Vietnam war veteran that was captured and held prisoner in a POW camp for 7 years. He was subjected to torture and unspeakable acts of deprivation. Years later he gave a speech at a memorial service about how for years after he was so angry and bitter and full of hatred towards the Vietnamese who had done this to him. But it was only recently that he was able to forgive them for what they had done, and in doing so his situation in life immediately began to change for the better.

He said that, "Forgiveness [as it turns out] is a gift we give to ourselves and not others." When he realized that hating them (for what was done in the past) was hindering his life in the present, he knew something had to change. In forgiving them, he was able to let go of the past and move on with his life, free of the burden of anger and hate.


So Walter, if this applies to you, then I hope it helps.

Only pussies give forgiveness. I would have gone back to Vietnam like Rambo and ruined everyone's shit.


Sup?

You are a Pussy.

Join a book club, be an chef apprentice, take up photography?

:P

Ever thought about playing guitar ? It's pretty therapeutic and you could come up with some sick shit. :D

indeed.

In Soviet Russia, guitar plays you!

I live in a small(er) town and I meet a lot of people(students from bigger cities) who are not happy living here day-to-day . They always say there's nothing to do and so on.... Every time i hear that, i have a simple advice - find peace with yourself first. Learn how to spend time of your life without going nuts over loneliness.

On most basic level, it's the attitude. You have to accept the fact you cannot be social 100% of your time.

Find things to do by yourself:

-sports routine was a great suggestion from above
---running
---working out
---any sport that can be done by a single person

-entertainment
---movies Get interested and get your mind invested in not only watching movies, but also in what goes into making one - people, skills, technology, story, etc. Analysis of these things can suck you in
---music
---gaming (you got that figured out)

-productivity
---programming
---computer parts
---car work
---house work , DIY - you got a lot of that on your hands

-education
---degree
---self development (explore a topic of your interest, start learning a language)
---integrate any of the above

-travel
---locally (hiking, kayaking, exploring places)
---domestically (parks, mountains, taking a train across US)
---globally

Only when you find peace yourself you can offer something to the society, and then the society will be much more interested in you.
Now I'm out-of-house 80% of the time with friends and co-workers, and by myself. This still leaves me with sucky 20% of time when i'm stuck at home with nothing to do. List above helps me dodging boredom.

From social perspective, you can try re-uniting with your class mates, co-workers, friends of family.
Go to park districts, gyms, schools to find city-wide sports leagues. Ask people you know. Get yourself occupied!

This is why I heart you, Stas ;)

do random acts of kindness and bring some happiness to people. Perhaps it would even help you to feel better about yourself as well, being able to make someone else even smile.

why do i feel like someone killed all the trolls in one fell sweep? xD

anyways gl to you walter.

ha. :D

You know, depression is really nothing to joke about. Sometimes it's hard not to, because people don't understand it, but it's a fucking horrible illness.

first of all,STOP talking the medication..that is what is making everything a hundred times worse ...schizoaffective disorder,..fuck ,give me a break..who isnt depressive now-a-days ..such bullshit

also..one good advice i use,when i wake up in the morning,i count everything i have and say "im grateful for my health ,income,house etc." as we take so many things for granted ..and it really does help put things into perspective ..maybe you can even use "bless my health and wellbeing" or whatever you feel is right for you

don't listen to doctors who HAVE to sell you pills ,..its bullshit

reconsider what happiness and life means to you..be happy with who you are and what you have...the grass is always fucking greener on the other side of the hill ...

one thing i would also consider is,..a healthier diet ...food is the cause of mostly all illnesses and disorders ..eat better !!!!

maybe another thing: help others and you help yourself

i wish you good luck and hope that you feel better soon

Its never a smart thing to just stop medication to just stop could ultimatly put you over the edge

Contact is the key if you keep locking yourself up and drink alot then its a matter of time before you snap and hurt yourself or others

Go outside yes an exercise routine is good but its still solitairy

btw dont you have any relatives? its most comfortable talking with someone you have a bound with

whatever you do, don't take riddlers advice.

.

Ive found in the past long bike rides in a quiet area is a great way to clear the mind

.

Have you ever spoken to a bankruptcy lawyer on your debt situation? If you're several hundred thousand dollars in debt, which I remember you said in a journal here some years ago, and you don't personally own any valuable assets (the house you live in) that can be taken from you, bankruptcy might not be a bad idea. Surely you'll still be eligable for benefits and normal wages and most importantly you'll leave your debts behind.

I don't know the US system very well, but here, bankruptcy isn't the end of the world. Rather a nuisance, people learn to live without credit for the bankruptcy period. Presumably, in the amazingly inhuman system that is US health care, you'll be amongst millions, so there must be viable continuities out there. In any case if you've spoken to debt experts and still don't see the slightest possibility of ever getting out of huge debt, rather than continuing a hopeless, depressing battle, see if there isn't a possibility for a fresh start. Even if it isn't painless it can't be worse.

Of course, you'll need to get insured to not start the cycle again.

.

You don't sound shizophrenic. What are the symptons?

Do me this sounds like a melancholic and chronic depression along with a general anxiety disorder.
Those two go hand in hand.

Get a roommate who is as fucked up as you and then do some threeways with some asian ladyboys. That will help you. Really, give it a try.

Go back to school. That will help you regain your confidence and get you out of the house. Perhaps you could move close to where your friend lives?

you sound like a bitch.

there are no magic pills that will make u feel better and there is no therapy that will help u, if u dont help urself first.U have to do something for urself, because nobody else will...thats just life, u dont get everything served on a silver plate.And as for ur friends and social life,u know its not just up to them that they should call u, sometimes u could make an exception and call them for a change!Just pickup the phone and call someone from those friends from ur childhood that u were good with and invite him over to ur place, or a beer or smth.Its up to u to keep in touch with good friends not just from them...

Aaaaand another idiot without a clue.

care to explain?

Not at all.

This guy has a major mentall illness, but I'm not going into
this, but instead explain from a depression point-of-view.

there are no magic pills that will make u feel better and there is no therapy that will help u, if u dont help urself first.

Two things:
1. There are magic pills.
2. What's this bullshit about "helping yourself first"?
If you are stuck in a depression, there is NO way to help yourself.
It is indeed impossible to get your head around anything else
than your anxiety, your sorrow, the things you worry about from
the moment you wake up, until the moment you fall asleep. (if
you're even able to fall asleep without worrying about stuff
for hours and hours.)
It goes a little deeper than "Try to think about smth positive.")
Way deeper. It's an illness. Sometime it's even hard endure a simple question like "Hey, how are you?" without going batshit crazy in your head.
So, with that in mind a proper therapy is THE way to start helping
yourself.

wow uve discovered a warm water,me claps!!But thats understandable since ure a fucking kraut...ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS that he needs professional medical treatment isnt it!?!?By 2. What's this bullshit about "helping yourself first"? I just got the impression that he usually expects from others to come and help him and thats not going to happen.I was trying to point out that HE should be the first to make a move and look for proper help.The stuff he wrote sounded like he just visited couple of therapists that filled him with pills and got rid of him as soon as possible.And knowing how american health care functions thats a posibility.As for his social life,again HE is the one that should act first and call his real friends he had.Im pretty sure that if those ppl are his true friends they will gladly come to see/help him.

1. There are magic pills.
If u really believe this, ure one deluded fuck.
Ofcourse they do help,theire a part of treatment, but pills alone dont solve the problem...

now do urself a favour and fuckoff

Can you read?

My point is that people with depression are not able to help themselves.
Your whole post revolves around this and is just plain wrong.

Look he is here...ASKING for advice, what better advice can u give him instead of this moronic shit 1. There are magic pills.!?

u really shouldnt be boasting this so called 'knowledge' in this thread when u clearly don't know what u are talking about.

If u had any idea, say u worked at a psych ward, u'd know about the people who shit on themselves every day etc. Some people can't help themselves.

oh im sorry did I hurt ur intellect!?

http://www.esreality.com/?a=post&id=1938410#pid1938410 like u had any, really uve proved ur stupidity already

an idiot will always interpretate others words the way it suits him...

ur insults are weak, just like ur arguments have been. I see a pattern here.

oh ur so desperate :D

it sounds to me you have a tough life are grinding crap over and over because youre brain isa over active if you could relax that it helps you to get time for more positive thougts and have a clear instead of super negative vieuw on it

Positive thoughts are overrated.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbS9jZOlQjc

BAM

:D so awesome ((::

if you ever find that whole show, let me know! <3

this is post chappelle show right? haven't seen footage from it be4.

ya, tried to find it a while back, apparently it's.. uh, can't even remember; probably coming out on dvd or something -- hopefully soon

i just learned he was muslim

shit happens.

one of my close friends in highschool was muslim.. probably one of the most intelligent people there. at least it can protect you against a certain prevailing idiocy that infects teenagers.

I think it did protect him those teenage years; but now the situation is very probably reversed :((

maybe old age will reverse the situation again! my grandma is surprisingly spiritually insightful despite being a christian :D

...

:\

Dirty Projectors - Fluorescent Half Dome

You any good at upgrading/working with computers? You could start a small business to occupy your time, perhaps advertise in the local paper or amongst your community. There are a lot of people who have "omg my internetz is slow" problems who just need a reformat or an extra 512mb ram... Just a thought

http://www.amazon.com/s/qid=1281054598/ref=sr...evancerank

Seriously. Try it. Even if it doesnt work, the worse that could happen is wasting 20 bucks.

I tend to boil easily, and Im not-an-happy-neither-depressed guy, but quake and poker sometimes make me rage, and sometimes I'm anxious, like in uni exams. That thing makes me so calm and feeling well, even in the situations mentioned above...

.

severe blunt in emotions concerning things i should care about, and intensive emotions concerning trivial things

That's also a symptom of depression isn't it? Couldn't the other things be caused by your drug abuse?

stop any medication
most doctors are clueless sons of bitches who just wanna have fast results to get rid of your problems but in the same time to have you on their shopping list, if possible. I never seen a psychiatrist understanding a guy who is smarter than him, excepting good will hunting (which ideas were debatable silly on occasions anyway) so I think that in your case they are clueless
if you took medication, at the moment you stopped or at the moment they changed your medications, it was like a guy addicted to drugs who just stopped his favourite "cure"
doctors just wanna take care of you as a problem, in order to "fix" you so you won't represent a danger for their society

some people have dangerous profiles. brain medications are designed to fix that (to keep you calm even if in normal circumstances you would not be), they do not really cure you, but keep you inoffensive. the long term results might transform you in a drugs (medication) addict, which will mean that your happiness must revolve little by little to their "solutions". if you have suicidal thoughts even when you are "sedated" it will mean their incompetence. in order to avoid this they try to sedate you even more

I don't say that all your deceptions are because these medications but that these are just increasing your problems
stay away from any medications or drugs for a few months (eventually decrease them slowly)
also don't expect anythig from anybody, nor to be peoples hero nor to be their enemy, try to disconnect and don't necessarily make the connection between things going wrong and suicide, it doesn't have to have such a direct connection

so keep it cool and whatever your thoughts on suicide, try not to involve it with your psychiatric momentum condition -if you go suicide without a vision you are doing it wrong

You people are idiots without any knowledge about medication. "Most doctors are clueless ..." .... yeah right.

its all about money ,and yes improper treatment is the number one cause of death in the america and the rest of the world

they are very much clueless

You're the one without a fucking clue.

gtfo imbecile

A severe depression will not go away by thinking positive thoughts and eating lettuce. Just like a meningitis won't go away by playing Sudoku, but who am I talking to here anyway.

you couldn't be more wrong,but who am i talking to here anyway

Haha, oh well. I'm sure you have a lot of experience on the matter.

Really.

Haha,oh well,its obvious you have none

Really

Is it? How so?

Btw: I'm not saying medication is indispensable.

you want me to explain? lol,..you are so simple
ordinary fucking people

I will gladly tell you mine, if you tell me yours.

Logic and common sense never was your strong suit .. i wont bother with your naive ideas

The fact that you bring up logic and common sense in a discussion about depression and/or mental illness says it all. Thanks for your time.

i was talking about you,but your comment still proves your ignorance on the subject ,..well done

I like where this is going, please continue

dude, you're from slovenia, shut the fuck up already

woah that felt good

Hey. How are you doing. Please point me to the webpage where I can buy your free energy device. My utilities bill is quite high this month, so I'd appreciate the help.

your ignorant one dimensional fool

Give up. This guy is one of those new-age airheads that think you can cure terminal diseases by thinking positive and so on.

I gave up on him when he made his first post, I think. It's just pretty fun to see how he reacts to direct questions.

Really, I have to stop reading at this point.

Is there a problem with people who are over-prescribed medication? Yes.

Are some doctors perhaps too eager to medicate their patients? Some probably are.

Is there no reason whatsoever for people with mental illness to consult medical professionals? Yes, there is a reason.

It's called help, you fucking stupid cunt. There are people in this world who cannot function (at least for an allotted time period) without some form of drug preventing a psychosis or other chronic disability.

This does not mean they may have to be on the drug for the rest of their life, in fact it usually means the total opposite.

People like you who totally deride medical professionals who specialise in mental illness are as bad as the people who won't allow a woman to have an abortion because it 'abuses the sanctity of life'.

Two of my friends stopped taking their medication because they believed what you do. Both of them attempted suicide because of this. Fortunately they didn't succeed and are now recovering, and one of them is even able to decrease her medication slightly soon.

if you stop using any strong drugs be it legal or not,there will be repercussions
im glad they are alive and well now

wow this is one of the biggest fails of late, good job buddy

ya,your so bright

i didnt mean the actual post i replied to, but your overall responses in this thread.

ur right about going cold-turkey on any relatively strong drug, worst move ever

Isn't he just awesome. Like a toy you take out of the closet when your in the mood and he never fails to deliver.

<3

could i do an indepth interview with you and post it on esr unedited? i think it would be awesome

lol,that would be such a troll bait

but ,i guess you can Msg me the questions and ill post back the answers if you want :P

sending you rest of the questions soon, just studies pressing on me here in the beginning (:

yes,as you know my views differ greatly from mostly everyone else here

there has to be someone like me to balance it out :p

well you make a good point.

keep it on brother!

Sigh kill yourself.

.

SUCK A dick perhaps the taste of some good ol dick will inspire you, on a serious note. Just enjoy life you know? Life is like programming, learn the language and start scripting. But if you dont learn the language you cant script and then the boogyman comes like he did now.. if you want to get rid of the boogyman then learn scripting life.. ok?

u can only ragequit once in life - use it wisely / immediately

what meds are you exactly on now?

learn to play an instrument, get in a band

new maps

I used to have some problems but then I became an egomaniac and now I feel alot better.

start trolling online

KILL

Just skimmed through the responses and I have to say that there are way more serious and honest answers than there are the usual esr-fuck off ones. Very nice to see and read, actually.

I'm not in the mood to elaborate on the topic, but as for my advice - if you can even call it an advice - it is only up to you how you feel mentally. Life becomes much happier when you honestly realise it. It is your choice how you feel. You are what you chose to be. Set yourself a goal and pursuit it until you achieve it. I know it sounds cheesy, but nothing is impossible unless you chose it to be.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder#Biological

What he said ^.

Most forms of depression won't let you chose, what to think. Sadly it's not as easy as that. Even if you WANT to do so, it's not working most of the time.
Again, depression and anxiety disorders are a very ambivalent matter. There ain't no right or wrongs the way I see it.
Almost all of the time people just tell you to cheer up, which is understandable, but not doable.

exactly


sidenote:many just don't want to hear how the money greed driven medical business won't always offer the best of help

Still no progress in the reading thing, I see. Sucks.

Still no progress in the thinking thing,I see.Sucks.

<3

Mr. conspiracy.

even if you might have shizophrenia, alot of the stuff you describe sound like depression.

im no expert, not even close, but has any of your doctors considered that?

and don't listen to people telling you that if you're depressive, medication doesn't work, or that it's your decision how you feel mentally.

Sure in many cases medication does not work, but in many cases it does. Depression is a condition that can be triggered through several different means, both psycho- and physiological.

besides skimming wikipedia, have you tried reading a book on the subject, one written by an actual psychiatrist?

get better

Why do some people in this thread invariably equate any term containing "schizo" with schizophrenia? And why do some people in this thread think that schizaffective disorder and depression were mutually exclusive? Depression is a symptom of many psychological disorders and the line between them is often blurry.

my bad, wrote that a few days after reading op

its rly great u decided to write this cos it allways helps when u throw shit out of your mind

if u ask me i had and actually still having many problems wih my life

i fucked up many many things

my parents did alota mistkes like leting me do whatever i want with my life when i was way too young to decide

i dont want to talk about it too much but basically i had some bad friends, sniffed much coke and do bad thing along the way resulting in much trouble and a year of rehab therapy which i think finally teached me how to live normally, whats good, whats bad etc

im still struggling to get my head straight

sometimes im pissed without a reason, i look in the mirror and c something exactly opposite to what it is and stuffs

what helped me alot was sports and its very good u re into running

i tried many things from bjj, muay thay and other shit but i had no heart for fighting and finally sticked to bodybuilding

i had many ups and downs but allways come back to the gym to train hard and this keeps me alive

those 2 hours 3-4 times a week is the best therapy u can get

never gave up man

cry, scream, hit the walls with your head or fists but never fucking gave up cos u were born to live

jew + coke = joke

No no, the coke just has to be kosher.

smile

fuck off. you're a moron.

first learn to choose friends, then comment

also, why nobody shouldn't care. It is for free ffs and I am sure he is not the only one that had at some point of his life problems. So, some ppl here can relate and if u relate u care.

thats awesome, thank you so much for contributing

maybe your depressed and fucked up because you're smoking dmt, getting wasted and doing whatever other drugs all the time.

Drugs like dmt don't make you more/less depressed.

yes they do. all psychoactive drugs do. weed, drinking, especially hallucinogens and mdma/mda. cocaine, meth, ect ect ect. any drug that alters your emotional state or perception will have an effect on your brain chemistry which can lead to depression if used in excess. even one experience with a hallucinogen can have a devastating effect on a person. i know atleast 3 people who suffer from schizophrenia which was directly caused by either taking acid or shrooms.

Psychedelics are like a mental ampifier, they encourage something that is already there

yes. psychology calls it "trigger", which is a better metaphor i think

in any case, they didn't use lsd entirely without success back in the day, it was just too risky. my grandpa got successful treatment for anxiety disorder. if the onset of parkinson 20 years later was related or not is hard to gauge, but such things may happen.

i saw recently in the uk they proved positive benifits from some kind of entheogenic judged in terms of self-reports of life-satisfaction some six months after the experience.

a spiritual outlook maybe not without its merits (:

Do you remember which Entheogen it was? Ibogaine?
Just found this article on the subject of modern studies of Entheogens and their potential positive effects.

Ah yes, that's the one. from 2008 with psilocybin. correcting myself: the study interval was 14 months before re-examination, not 6.

I'm glad to see people take notice. On occasion I see highly interesting news disguised as a small notice in most common outlets; I believe this reflects uncertainty in regard to validity and possible public reaction. It's an interesting sign that it got such an indepth article now - the whole marijuana debacle or its roots may yet have some good side-effects (:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn19405-m...ancer.html

here's another one (:

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/shor...y.2010.116

a spiritual outlook maybe not without its merits (:

True that ;)

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/reprint/arch...2010.116v1

science proves it! (almost)

Hey, you got the full article somewhere? I don't have access to the series, even through uni, since I'm not a med/psych student.

Actually there was a short article about the subject in yesterday's Helsingin Sanomat ;D

Yeah. I have access. Dno if I can upload it here; if not just i'm me your mail.

ya it works, just save that broken image lol :D

Bullshit. They're (psychedelics) more likely to trigger schizophrenia if they're (users) predisposed to it. Don't spout that 'amagad hallucinogens gave my friends schizophrenia !1111' trash.

So? If you can't evaluate if you are predisposed that information is useless.

Ofc.

But if you're uncle or great grandfather was schizophrenic, it's safe to assume you better tread lightly.

ofc they do they burn your all your serotonine + drugs like alcohol and opiates re called depressants for a reason

if u re already depressed mdma can make u feel better but its not a good way of therapy

It seems to me that it often comes down to our basic needs. Feeling healthy physically (which you seem to do already), socialising, spending time outside etc.

Sitting at home playing games all alone too much will alienate you, which in turn decreases mental health.
I'm no expert of mental health and I don't want to trivialise what you're experiencing., but it seems like you might need to get out a bit more.
Experiencing things outside of the own home, working or going to college/university, meeting new people etc helps more than you might think. So if that is something you're able to do I would recommend getting back to basics. Playing instruments and reading etc is all fine I guess, but being alone poisons the mind because you get trapped in the same cycles of thought.
With other people around you to chat with and have fun, you might help breaking that cycle and get a slightly different mindset.

Things I've learned from reading this thread.

America is a shit hole that sends people insane.

Intriguing.

)))))))))))

That's pretty accurate, imo. lol

sounds about right

Yep, it really makes me sad a bit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe3St1GgoHQ

1. donate organs
2. kill self
(be careful not to damage the precious organs)

Get back into paintball
and this:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=142131

detox your body, mind and spirit. Then the heal comes from the only place it ever really do, yourself. Lots of good info on the internets about it. Just think outside the box and realize prolly the ones that supposedly are helping you maybe just want to leech money from the suffering of an individual. Best of luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEsMuP2oMgc

You just have to learn to let go.

This could make it easier for you:
http://www.dhamma.org/

No doctrines, no snake oil, no false promises, it's just a technique. Read up on it. It's free.

I've witnessed people get out of some really deep shit, but bear in mind it is no medicine, you and only you can make it work.

"the problem at the moment is i don't get any sense of accomplishment out of anything i do"

Are u asking yourself why to do anything at all ?

u could study on the meaning of life to find answers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meaning_of_life

oh I was looking for that, and there it was on wiki all along.

easy one
everybody knows it is 42

/kill isn't allowed anymore.

Pro tip

Use clonazepam to stabilize your mood. It also works for anxiety. 1-4 mg daily. (and maybe alprazolam (Xanax) as needed for another anti anxiety kick.

Take some bad ass stimulant like Adderall (XR). Easy to get in the USA.

Use these two medications wisely and you will turn into superman. Stay away from anti psychotics, they suck the life out of you.

List your cocktail of drugs here please.

Greetings,

Dr. Internet.

.

you should not take Seroquel unless you are really psychotic.

the side effect and long term affects are not worth it.
tardive dyskinesia or diabetes to name a few. what dose you are on? Over 200 mg Seroquel it starts blocking dopamine (the neurotransmitters that makes you happy, motivation etc.) kpin and zoloft are good.

How about just moving from your country? Just go to Brazil and start something more simple, down to earth, forget your debt and your problems, it doesn't sound to me like you have much to lose anyway.

Go to Quakecon

First piece of advice... avoid psychiatry. They'll give you drugs and tell you about your disorders, because if they don't, they lose their jobs.

Maybe people today, they try to fight depression? Maybe they shouldn't? Maybe depression is healthy, and if you didn't fight it, it would end and then you'd be better?

I plussed Jonesy.

lol

how does it feel?

Depression is really only the body's way of shutting down after an injury. Take for example animals. When they're in pain or hurt or whatever, they go quietly into a corner and just kind of lie down for a while. It's just their body's shutting down and 'healing up'. Depression is really just the same thing, hense why people that are depressed are always tired and have low energy or interest in doing things. Because it's the body trying to heal what it thinks is wounded. The problem is that the 'injury' is not physical but is mental and by 'shutting down', it only furthers the problem.

Just one way of looking at it anyway

go stand in the corner. quietly.

Real portrait of Zeriton with his wife Jonesy.

retarded conspiracy hippie is retarded

see ya @ quakecon bro montana

all u pseudo therapists need to stfu.
OP: keep going to therapy.

rofl,you sir,..are beyond clueless

plz elaborate as to why I'm wrong.

Check your Facebook, sir.

Psychiatrists come up with a lot of science-sounding theories. They still haven't come up with a condition for slavery though. 'Desire to Enslave Disorder'... yes, that's probably it, and it comes from a chemical in your brain called abunchofbullshitia. Luckily, psychiatry has found a solution to slavery, which comes in the form of a magic pill. You only need to take it 37 times per day.

Why haven't psychiatrists discovered the 'disorder' that causes slavery? 'Cause there's no money in it. Meanwhile, they have control over so much of our lives. Because you're crazy, they tell your potential employers not to hire you... it isn't because you slept with their wife, and their trying to get revenge, it's because you really are nuts. Psychiatrists are incapable of tyranny. And they're always correct, no matter what... just look at Freud; every thought he ever had, especially in the field of psychiatry, has since been confirmed correct.

The case of ED is a perfect example of how psychiatry deliberately scams everyone. Psychiatrists are people, like confessional priests, who get all kinds of secret, intimate knowledge from their 'patients', and are experts at exploiting that knowledge. They find, lots of men go into therapy because they can't get erections anymore. The 'patients' expose their feelings on the subject (at the behest of the psychiatrist, of course). They say how it makes them feel ashamed... like they're not men anymore. The psychiatrists, in the way they are, realize there is an enormous market to be exploited. What's better for this market, than a pill people must buy and take regularly, and can only get through prescription (meaning, they have to pay a psychiatrist to get the prescription, then, in addition, pay the pharmaceutical companies). Essentially, at this point, the psychiatrist is like a pusher, but worse, because they function as the middle-man. They ensure the drugs remain legal, but only if they get a cut. The last piece of the puzzle, of course, is advertising the product. They can't just come out and say, "the reason you can't get erections is because you're old as fuck, and your whole body, not just your penis, is about to die". No no no... that is not conducive to sales. Instead, after learning precisely what all the men felt about their lack of erections, they knew exactly how to package the product. You have to make the men feel like there's nothing wrong with being unable to get erections. It's just... like a cold or a flu... yes, that's it, it's an illness... a dysfunction... it's very common among men, and there's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, and this dysfunction does not make you less of a man.

Of course, then the commercials begin, all the psychiatrists and pharmaceutical get rich, and all the people are shown to be hopeless, naive, overtrusting fools. Psychiatrists have the ultimate access into exactly what to market, and how it should be marketed. And unlike with regular markets, where the businesses have to pay the people for information, the people in psychiatry (the 'patients'), actually pay the businesses. With every new psychiatric session, psychiatrists and pharmaceutical companies know that much more about how to exploit the ignorant masses and how to make themselves rich.

Never known depressed but found this helpful (seems you might relate a little - obviously very far apart from the real issues but could be a factor) - explains / gives reasoning for the way people act, the way they differ - the 'energy drain' thing resonates. Love to be out & about but I do need alone time just to 'chill' and recharge! Things snowballing etc

And money trouble sucks :) you can't win... can't seem to find a middle ground - you either freak out over it & allow it to consume your life or become a tad fatalistic and fuck it off. If you find a solution do let me know!

Essentially, you have religion (the opiate of the masses), selling its cheap intoxication. Then you have the more modern form, psychiatry, competing with religion. Then, you have the private sector intoxicants, which, of course, is where all the best kinds are. The three of these are in competition. Psychiatry is essentially the government version. What the government wants, is for you to be 'intoxicated' (meaning, you feel good), plus, they want you working (so you can pay taxes). Psychiatrists will tell you all about the evils of marijuana, because marijuana is their competition. If you buy marijuana, they don't get a cut... and even worse, it probably means you won't buy what they're selling. Of course, none of what they say about marijuana is true, it's just propaganda they use to defeat their competition (which is mostly accomplished through the outlawing of their competition, through their partner - government). The only marijuana even moderately accepted by government, is, you should be able to guess... medical marijuana (which can only be legally acquired through, again... of course... prescription).

So yes, when they tell you about your disorders, and they tell you the only cure is to keep giving them money and information, and to keep buying their pills, it's all about keeping you hooked... just like any old pusher ever did. People didn't used to know heroin was addictive. And they didn't find out until they were already hooked. Psychiatry will never help you... if they actually did cure you, they would go out of business.

Before anyone starts thinking we should privatize everything, it should be known, the private sector is only better for production: things like invention, discovery and manufacturing. When it comes to commerce, the private sector cannot be relied upon. This is nature. When do you see animals trade with each other? Even when parents feed their offspring, they're not really trading. It's just the opposite with production. In fact, it's usually only through commerce that destruction occurs.

go fuck yourself

y hate phil :c

Not interested in you Journal much now?

"hey to anyone who cares (No comments)
( Journal: ESR)
Posted by outlaw @ 20:10 CDT, 4 August 2010 - iMsg
this isnt a troll post. yeah i have caused drama before but this is different. first thing i need to say is i am at least a bit drunk but i need some hhelp mentally.
basically ive ruined my fucking life i live in a house that is paid off due to my deceased grandfather and while that is in my favor i have a load of shit on my hands i dont know how to take care of. ive been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder by 3-4 doctors (at first they thought it was bipolar but that was ruled out) and i am now on a cocktail of medication that really kills my drive to do anything.

this problem has been ongoing for monthsn and ive been hospitalized 5 times so far in 2010 where they have me ina psych ward and change around my medication. i was working but eventually i could not hold a job due to the complications and i ust neeed some kind of advice on what i should due with my life.im seeing a therapist 2x a week and i also have counseling but beyond that when i am at home i am a miserable wreck, have little to no social life, and i try t drown out my time in mmo and fps games like quake. the thing is ive been becoming increasinly suicidal and ive been in the hospital 2x this year and others before which has loaded up my medical debt to extreme levels.

i never had a mom as a kid as she was a drug addict whena list of felonies and eventually served 10 years while my dad moved cross country and never had anything to do with ne. i have had no proper raising and i really have trouble integrating into society properly and im pretty much a social outcast concerning alot of things.

ii need some kind of advice on what to do because ive tried tons of different medication and other therapy and things which seemed to help a bit but ultimately ended up being useless. im 23 yearss old and i cant find the motication (i have no motivation for anything as is) to do shit with my life and im petty suicicandal in general (which has led to psychiatric stays,) im just asking if anyone maybe knows what i can do to maybe help my life and anu syggestions on waht i can do to overcome this dilemma because as of now i feel helpless and i have no idea what i can possibly do to overcome this."

Smoke weed - helps with getting back in touch with your senses.