Over the last few months, i've found myself playing 'The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time' a game I have completed about 6 times in the 7 years since its release. Yes the graphics are dated & the puzzles have all been solved but I keep coming back to it, in early 2003 I tackled this by subscriping to Microsofts MMORPG 'Asheron's Call 2' which I played for about 2 months on and off before cancelling my subscription, & I now ask myself what draws me back to a graphically dated N64 game that holds nothing new for me now?

Assholes, or the absence of them.

For me video games like reading is.. escapism, its something to do, when I'm sick of coursework or going down the pub, something to take my mind of whatever pointless shit is going on in my life, I boot up the game & whether it be an RTS, FPS or MMORPG, im trying to avoid the stress & repetition of whats going on in the real world, we are now in the 4th week of 2005 & I have read 5 books this year, I read 5 fictional books in the whole of 2004 spending a substantial part of my unallocated free time playing Unreal or CPMA, & though my friends & family appreciate the smaller amount of time I spend sat behind a keyboard or with a controller in my hand, I'm not aware of a conscious decision I have made to change any aspect of my lifestyle....

So why am I reading more books? And Why am I playing a dated console game?

2004 was the year of the Broadband boom, We are no longer part of an exclusive club, the envy of our 56k friends or colleagues, every Tom, Dick & Harry with a PC now has DSL or cable line, and ofcourse Junior has abandoned his Xbox for a PC, & has decided to harrass me wherever I go, Public servers are no longer fun. You either join & the lack of competition bores you into leaving or the constant abuse that your doing something dodgy results in the same. With UT, no non UTComp server is safe from the 12yr old who has downloaded an Aimbot & is hellbent on destroying any hope you have of ammusing yourself, I hoped this problem was exclusive to the FPS communities & installed Warcraft 3: RoC, in the hope of getting my daily gaming fix, only to have my base destroyed by my ally in 2v2 because it was QUOTE 'more fun than playing vs 2 Undead players'.. was this always so? Where is my escapism?

I don't know if online gaming has changed, or simply my perception of it & as a result my actions, but in my current frame of mind i'm more likely to grab a 6th book than return to the public servers of any of the major games..

Oh & if anybody is interested...
The Black Magicians Trilogy (Trudi Canavan); The Magicians Guild, Novice & The High Lord.
The Wee Free Men (Terry Pratchet)
I Am Legend (Richard Matheson)
These books are good enough to keep you away from games whether you've lost interest or not..